He wanted his
pre-proposal to "bait" her, as was their unofficial but usual way of
"playing"-an enchanted 'high' of sorts for them. It was all part of
what had made their relationship so addictive. Like an
enslaving, habit-forming drug, it always left them wanting and needing
more, making "space" so hard to accept, and deal with. Never quite
being enough, yet momentarily exhilarating, thus heightening the dependency
and the ecstatic joy. It was the "fun" they so loved about their relationship and each other.
His plan was to propose, by serenading her, only this time it would be with HIS words in his song, expressing all the feelings he had kept hidden; safe from exposure, rejection, and pain. From her. It was his most revealing and vulnerable, sheltered S.A.M. yet....awaiting disclosure. One that would leave him hoping for approval, and acceptance.
He set the plan in motion. Knowing she would be astonished and bewildered not expecting it, he elatedly typed in 'And they lived Happily-Ever-After', pushing SEND to her at the same time she, crossing cyber paths, typed in, 'And they lived Happily-Ever-After' and SEND......
Only his was going to her, while hers were the closing words of her manuscript she had been working on for close to a year, sent to her publisher (wanting
to get it to him before her hospital stay). She not knowing he was
drawing closer to her, him, not knowing she was done.
Tomorrow will be the epilogue and final entry.