November 24, 2013

He's Poking You With His Pattern

As a group activity, the children were making patterns with Unifix cubes. 

As is often the case, children find other uses for them than what the teacher intends.
One child found them to be a good "tool" for getting others attention; if in a negative way.
Another observant student informed the classmate, "He is poking you with his pattern." at which time the multi-tasker was asked to stick solely to the assignment.

Do you know someone who "pokes you with his patterns"?
I have also heard it stated as "pushing buttons", or "it always has to be their way"?

We all have "patterns"or habits in our lives.
Do we force our way of doing and seeing things onto those around us?
Or does someone else expect us to pattern our lives in the way they think is best for us?

I lived this way for part of my life.
Being told who and what I should be.
It thwarted my creativity.
It took the fun out of me and often what I was doing or wanted to do.
It made me uncomfortable and sometimes even miserable.
Yet it wasn't until it was brought to my attention from outside sources that I realized what was happening and why.
I was being expected to live a pattern created by another.
One that was not my own.

And.....(she wants to avoid admitting)....I, in turn was doing it to others too.
I wanted my children to have a better life than I, and thought I had a good pattern for them to accomplish that.
The better pattern.
The best way.
My way.
I learned and still am on some days, that as the students did; they might be inspired by another's ideas they hadn't thought of, but it doesn't mean they have to change their ideas and patterns of living unless they chose to.

So now I try to observe the patterns of others and make changes to my life as I feel will be beneficial to me,
And, I am trying to show that same respect to others.
I also try to stay aware when others are pressuring me to incorporate patterns that I don't want in my life, and feel confident enough to decline so I am no longer a victim of being pattern poked.

"Every man has a property in his own person.  This nobody has a right to, but himself."  ~John Locke

"He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce."  ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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