April 30, 2010

Lost and Found

Remember the two-and-a-half pounds I lost?

Well, I found them and they are back!

This is not a good thing people.

Some things are better off not being found.
(Like things in the back of your refrigerator.)

Or little fatty-micro-mini-munchkins who disguise themselves as cottage cheese.
And burrow into your thighs and other places!
Little Miss Muffet is the one who showed up with the merchandise at Lost and FOUND.
(Was is so hard for her to keep her Curds and Whey to herself?)

I am acting like the innocent, (bitter) victim here,
who looks at the scale with a lawyer's poker face,
But I do know that eating a Tonka truck full of brownies
can have something to do with the munchkin revolt.

I can admit that I do have a thing for the 'brown stuff'. (April 11 post)
There are sooo many chocolate yummies in Denial.....

I do not want to blog about numbers for awhile.
They are 'weighing heavy' on me! 

"Chocolate is an antidepressant, which is especially useful as you start to gain weight."~Jason Love

April 29, 2010

I'm Stalking Myself!

I am one of my own followers.
It is like a self-induced cult.
I am my own follower at my command.

"I always feel like someone is watching me..."

I don't know how it happened.
Well, I do, but I don't really, if that is possible.

I was trying to comment back on a comment made on one of my posts and I became a fellow traveler.
That is sort of creepy considering I am already traveling with myself!?
(And worse yet, I never got a reply in)
So if I do not reply to your comment it isn't because I don't want to, it is because I do not know who will be following me if I do.

Yet on the other hand, it is kinda cool and funny.
Because I don't know how to undo it!
(Again, I need a social life)

AND it is also fun because I now have one more follower!
(I have to admit it made me wonder if I could keep following myself until I get 1,000 followers of the me-kind?)
Uh oh, I feel that multiple personality thing coming on....

I am not following you,
Yes you are! 
No I'm not!

I love my computer!
And my crazy inexperienced self.
If you had paid me a lot of money to do it, I probably couldn't of done what I did.
I just love my imperfectness when it comes to these sort of things!

April 26, 2010

Off Balance

It has been tricky for me to find time to blog with a change in my evenings.
I am off balance.

Well, that isn't anything new.
I have been told I'm 'a little off' most of my life.

But what I am trying to get at is that
Part of my imbalance is the time I take to exercise.

This is the start of my third week.
I think I already said that last week didn't I??
(Confusion-another side effect of exercise.)
But this really is the third week this time.

Guys, it doesn't seem like I am making much progress when my machine says,
"Workout Summary" 
Calories  27
Distance   1.21
What am I working so hard for??

Well, I continue because there is one machine that has a celebration for me each time I work out on it.
(Even if I am only on it for 2 minutes!)
It reads, 'Goal Accomplished!' when I am done.
Then there are flashing lights and sounds similar to the ones coming from a slot machine when you win.
I almost feel like I am in Vegas!

It makes a big deal out of a small deal.
I am so happy I clap for myself in the end.
(Who cares if I only walked up 1 flight of stairs!
It is more than the 2 steps leading to my house!)
Depending how celebratory I feel I might even try a repeat performance.

Also, although I said I am not big on numbers,
(you can't believe everything I say),
I lost 2 1/2lbs.
You keep playing that funky music stair stepper.
It is working for me...

It always takes me awhile to adjust to a new schedule.
I will do my best to add something at least every few days.

Between winnings and confusion that could be a challenge.
A challenge I'm up to.

"Never eat more than you can lift."~ Miss Piggy

April 22, 2010

Pounds to Dollars - EXERCISE / WEIGHT UPDATE

I just wrote that to get your attention.
The part about $$$$.

I will not get money for losing weight.
That is unless I am Jared from Subway or Marie Osmond on Nutrisystem.
Or I might..., if I invent some new diet that works while I am brushing my dog!

My starting weight is 3,487 lbs.
My Goal: To lose between twenty and thirty pounds.

I do not usually worry about the numbers (I know that is not what I said about the doctor's scale...) as much as I worry about how I feel and look.
That way I am not obsessing over eating one Wheat Thin (who can do that?) (or pita chip for all you Trader Joe fans)  or worry about drinking water because it might look like I gained a pound when I step on the scale.
(Imagine what I'd weigh after therapy!  See April 9 post.)

Right now I do not like how I feel.

I do not like huffing and puffing after walking up the stairs to my house.
There are two of them.

Or needing a nap after flossing my teeth.

Or not being able to talk more than one and a half minutes on the cell phone because my arm is too weak to hold it up to my ear any longer.  (NO, I do not have a 'tooth' that goes into my ear!)

I also want to play 'Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes' without using a pointer.

This week I am starting my third week of exercising.

I am still getting sore in new places.

The other night when I was taking off my necklace, my arm pit hair hurt.
So I shaved them.  
That hurt even worse!
It was the stretching it took to get to those hard to reach places that was painful.

If you are a male and don't get it, try it.
Shave your arm pits.
Your hair will be back in 24 hours or so and you will be better able to relate to women.
(I am not sure what good that will do for you, just added it.)

I will keep you posted on my weight loss and my exercising and my pain acquisition.

"The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends."~ Author Unknown

April 19, 2010


Life also some has some fun unexpecteds.

As I 'find' them I will post them.

Here are a few that I have come across.

Liz Claiborne sandals in pretty nice shape.  $4.00

Great white (sounds like I should say shark next) Kenneth Cole slip-ons.  $5.00

NOTE: I do not know if these shoes are 'in style' as I am not a vogue-kinda-girl.
I just like what fits.
And has a price in my budget (which is pretty tight.)  
(I will do a financial blog at a later time.  Right now I have to go spend money.)

Although it may appear so, I also am not an Imelda Marcos.

"I do not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty."~Imelda Marcos

Having cleared that up, I want to show you another find.


I know shoes again!
These are my athletic shoes, although I would never think of 
 using them for any athletic event.
Except riding the stationary bike for two-and-a-half minutes at physical therapy.
A total of six times!
One does need to look sharp in order to heal properly.

I had the "Secret" going on with these shoes.
I had seen women with a similar style of Skechers last year.
I wanted them but not for the $59.00 the Mall was asking.
So I just 'wished' to find some and I did.
They were practically brand new so still look good eight months later.
And for only $5.00!

And just so you do not think all I buy is shoes, here is a household item.
Actually two-of-a-kind.  (No we are not in Vegas.)

I was watching ESPN for women--also known as HGTV and I saw these irons.
I had never heard of a Rowenta before and after I priced them I understood why.
I am a Target, $14.99 (cheaper on sale) Black and Decker iron owner, not a $50.00 plus gal.  (I would rather wear wrinkles than make them from worrying about spending so much money.)
So I did the "Secret" thing again and found these!
And the best part is, is that one was $5.00 and the other $6.00.
How could I refuse such a deal so I bought them both!


"I am having an out of money experience."~Author Unknown

April 14, 2010

PROJECT #1 Dining Room Table - COMPLETED

DISCLAIMER:  It appears that this blog with words and pictures has a mind of it's own.  And for now it is smarter than me so IT will determine what goes where.  Therefore, it may be a little wacko-looking.
Sorry for any disruption this my cause to your eyes and brain or your shopping excursions.

Here is the 'before' picture of the dining room table I blogged about on the 3/9/10  post.

 I used an orbital sander with 60 grit Velcro sandpaper to sand the top.
 (The lower the number of the sandpaper, the more coarse it is.)     

Everyone begin... Neck
stretches.  To the right.  
1, 2, 3...Hold. (Keep your
eyes open!)   Relax.  Back 
to an upright position.

Sorry but remember I am 
a beginner.
I do not know how to turn  a picture yet.
The finish was quite old and worn and came off very easily.  I love that!  It makes my job much faster and easier.
I sanded the edges of the table by hand cutting small pieces of sandpaper out of a big sheet of sandpaper.  (It sharpens your scissors too!)  (Although that doesn't look like a sharp-scissor cut does it?)  I used 100 grit paper.                                

I only use gloves to
protect my hands if
I will be going to the
Grand Ball.  It hasn't 
happened yet.  Either using gloves OR the Ball.

I can be a perfectionist, but on pieces such as this, I leave a little finish here and there in the crevices and don't worry about it.  You can call it being lazy.  I call it preserving character.  (It also symbolizes the imperfections we all have.  Yes, I did say ALL of us!)
                                                   Here is what the bare top looked like.                 

                                                 Now I want you to look closely at this stain on the top.  It is a black stain (probably mold or rust or both)  that I could not sand off.  It was a wrench outline and something else.  If you talk to an expert or just some determined re-finisher, there is probably some product or technique for removing it.  I chose not to have that conversation.  Besides, I was preserving the tables past and my patience.  So I just left it like it looks.

That 'reasoning' made it impossible to stain it the natural maple color that the table is.  Because the stains would show through the finish.  (I don't really know my woods that well, there just happened to be a stamp underneath the table that said SOLID MAPLE.)
 I had some American Walnut stain which almost looked black.  I also LOVE the fact that it is water-based for easy cleanup!  I put it on pretty heavy and the outline of the wrench was still visible but not too bad.  (That character thing again.)


I then sparsely sanded 
    underneath not 
    worrying that some 
    finish was left on.  I used
    flat black paint underneath. 

Here are a close-up of the feet.  I do something that drives my
sister crazy.  After I paint and stain it, I go back and lightly sand the edges to scuff them up.
I don't have a good explanation except that I like the finished look.  It also makes it forgiving of any scrapes that might happen from normal wear and tear.


   Flat paint does not have a very becoming look at first, but I like the end result.           
   It makes it easier to accept stain over the paint.                                    
 I did not like that the Walnut stain had a gray look when it dried so I re-stained over everything with maple finish.


Now stretch your neck again.
        (It really bothers me to have 
        sideways picture on one hand
        and makes me impressed that
        I could stand on my head and
        click on the other hand!?) 
The picture on the right shows
         the leg in the process of being 
         stained.  This part always excites
         me.  (I know, I need a social life!)

You can see the wrench stain a little to the right side of the table in the picture but it was even less obvious in real life.  I liked the added charm!

I finished the table off with a rub-on clear satin polyurethane.  I gave it two coats with a light sanding in between coats using 220 grit sandpaper.  (Very fine paper.)  The wiping of the finish eliminates brush marks, which I refuse to include in 'character building'.)

Neck stretch to the                  
left. (I did use gloves 
for this part. But still no
Grand Ball or even Disco
invite for that matter!)

                                                Ta Da!
                Bottom                                                                                                            Top



BEFORE                                                                                                          AFTER


I took the table to a furniture store where it just happened to sell in forty-five minutes!
How's that for imperfections!

"I cling to my imperfection, as the very essence of my being."~Anatole France

"You see, when weaving a blanket, an Indian woman leaves a flaw in the weaving of that blanket to let the soul out."~Martha Graham

April 11, 2010

Therapy, Exercise and The Dining Room Table

I just noticed the title.
It sounds like the beginning of a bad bar room joke.

But it isn't.  I know, you knew that.
It is just a wholesome update.

                                                                My sister gave me this.
                           She had to walk around the elephant to hand it to me.
For me there is both! 
I could not bring myself to tell her that though.
Because I want to keep the cup!
But the truth is that I eat chocolate while I am at therapy.
Maybe that is another reason why I do not get to lie down on the white couch?!
(See last blog 'Therapy is not for...')
More on chocolate later.
It deserves it's own blog!

EXERCISE/WEIGHT UPDATE:                                                                                                                             

I have gone to that place- the gym or the club or the Silver Sneaker hang out, four of the last six days.
Two of those days I was not able to fit it into my schedule.
In spite of those missed days, trauma to my body has been done. 
Today I am feeling it.
My body is sore in places that I didn't even know had muscles.
Like between my teeth.

Maybe that is a good thing.
My mouth could be too sore to eat.
(NOTE: Most chocolate doesn't require chewing.)

FYI: For some odd reason the scale at the gym is broken on the same number that the scale at the doctors office is.
I will discuss pounds later.
Broken scales and pounds also deserve their own blog.


It is finished!
And already sold!
It is taking time for me to post the step- by- step process.
(I lost some of the pictures of the middle steps in cyber space.)
The Robinson family found them.
(The Robinson's are from an old movie 'Lost in Space')
As for the table, it already has it's own blog. 
                                     Thank you for your patience as I get my acts together!

April 9, 2010

Therapy Is Not For Sissies, Ostriches, Or People Who....

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."~Jerry Seinfeld

 Therapy, counseling, soul searching, spilling your guts or whatever you want to call it, is hard work!!

It is not for sissies.
It is not for ostriches,
Or for people who have pet elephants in the middle of their living rooms (or any room for that matter.)

When I come out of a session I sometimes feel like I just had an hour of an intense workout.
It is like my trainer is a cross between Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura- with Judge Judy presiding to make sure it goes forth.
That is somehow tremendously, physically draining to me too.                                                                                                                                                                                                      
I think part of it can be attributed to dehydration.
All that crying can do that to you.                                                   
When I am done I just want a nap.
And to drink a gallon of water.

So if it is so painful then why do it?
(That's what I ask myself when I see runners.)
I do it because the pain of not looking is greater than the pain of changing my life.
(I have tried that route of blindness before.)

Honestly, I am a big wimp.
(Maybe I was wrong about the sissy part.)

I do not like pain at all.
So I search for answers, not because I am strong but because I am not.
It fools people every time.

If you  haven't gone to seek help in this way I have something to tell you.
You don't really get to lie down on a couch like the movies show.
At least I don't.
It may be because I nap there instead of waiting until after I get home.
(Did I ever tell you how much I like to vacation mentally?)

Anyway as difficult as it is, as uncomfortable as it is, it is making a better me.
And for that it is worth it.
For just like someone who physically works out is a healthier person,
working on one's self emotionally produces healthier results too.
(At least that is what I tell myself.)

(And I am convinced it is true!)

"A part can never be well unless the whole is well."~Plato

"When you're feeling your worst, that's when you get to know yourself the best."~Leslie Grossman 

Remember this can?  (JAN. 31st post 'Who Is Reyna?') 
I apparently have saved enough!  
(Notice the word some.)

April 7, 2010

SERIES - #2 I Didn't Expect: To Have Four Boys and Only One Girl

When my daughter heard what this 'topic' was she announced to other family members that it was mean.  I didn't get it (of course, why would I?)

It seems sort of odd to 'expect' what sex your children will be, but that is how my mind was working.

I have always wanted five children but I never really gave thought to the balance.
I just thought there would be one.
Apparently not much thought...
(How do you balance out five anyway?)

Playing with my Barbies, (yes I had Barbies) I never acted out the role 0f a mother of mostly girls or mostly boys.  Even then I just thought it would be 'even'.  (Although there were not many male dolls available.  I only had one.  It was Ken.  (Sometimes my brothers' G.I. Joe, unbeknownst  to him would be around too.)  Mostly it was Ken.  One Ken to octo-Barbies.  Ken loved it!  It was like Mattel polygamy.) 
(Let's pretend I didn't just plant that idea in your mind.)

My first two babies were boys.
By the time I was pregnant with my third child, I thought it would be a girl.
I mean doesn't that make sense?
Two boys to play with each other.

Now let's mix it up a bit.
Give them a little sister.

But it did not happen that way.

Instead I heard, "It's a boy!"
Of course, I loved this baby boy too and I still do.
But I had not anticipated that it would not be  girl.
Who was tipping the scales here?

It would be another lesson for me.

I resolved then that I would be grateful for whatever gender God chose to send me.
And that I would trust that He knew what He was doing.
Don't get me wrong, I was grateful, I just got worried I would never get to experience a daughter.
(I am embarrassed to admit my shallowness.)
(Maybe my daughter is on to something?)

I had read about a faithful man who was the father of five boys and loved it for all the right reasons.
It changed how I felt.
I accepted the fact that I too might be blessed with five boys.

Near the last few months of my fourth pregnancy , the doctor had some concerns that complications might arise so I had to have several ultrasounds.
I was always asked if I wanted to know what the sex was.
I did not.
I figure if I have to wait nine months anyway, I might as well have a surprise in the end.
Isn't that how it has been for thousands of years?
And no one ever gets a refund anyway if they don't get what they expected.

Besides, my personality is such that I would not only have this child's name pre-picked without seeing them, but I would already have planned what kind of child they were going to be (see 'Preconceived Notion' post) and what extra curricular events they would be involved in, to what their favorite everything was and where they were going to college...before they were even born!

So I waited until the day.
"It's a girl!"
She really was unexpected!

She was a blessed addition to our male family.
It was added spice.
I said, "It is like having salt and pepper now!"
(Are those spices?)
Nooo cooking for you Reyna!

Then not even two years later,
Again I heard, "It's a boy!"
And my last child was absolutely perfect!
I was so happy to have him too!

I had grown enough by then not to think about whether it was a boy or girl.
I was grateful that all my children were born strong and healthy.
No more 'balancing' thoughts.
(Of course ten years had also passed-more mature perspective maybe?)

Then my divorce came.
When that happened, I got amnesia and I forgot about the part up on top here where I said, "[I] trust that He knew what He was doing" ( when he blessed me with mostly boys).
I questioned, mostly to the air so as not to speak disrespectfully, directly to God, "Why did God give me all these boys to raise alone?  I know nothing about boys.  I've had very few men in my life.  How am I supposed to raise boys?"
(It was my 'pity-me' cry.)

But it would not be long before those questions were answered.
Testosterone vs Hormones that's why!!

My sister has three girls very close to my childrens' age and as they matured (if you know what I mean...)
it became evident what a wise and loving and understanding and compassionate God He was.
Thank goodness for off-balance.
Thank goodness that He knew what He was doing!

Disclaimer:Nothing against girls-I happen to be one.
It's just that I was not a very good sharer when it came to who gets to play the monthly, lead role in Mommy Dearest.  Or is it Psycho?
Imagine if I would have had to fight for the part with 4-5 other females?!
Thank goodness those days are past.
(Back to the main focus here.)

I would not want any of my children to be any thing other that exactly what God sent.
Who was that crazy, 'I-want-balance-woman??!'
I know her.
She is OK now.
She has received help.  Thank goodness!

The help came in the form of four boys and one girl!
Therapy by design!
Designed by the Ultimate Creator of all time.

P.S.  I want to add what an absolute blessing it has been for me that God entrusted five of His special spirits to me.
In whatever form.
That I have had the privilege of giving birth to five wonderful, beautiful children.
That I was granted one of the two things I really ever wanted in life; to be a mother.
I know that I make sarcastic comments sometimes and kid around but I would NEVER change that part of my life!

This past summer I had major surgery.  
I had to sign a consent form acknowledging that I would never be able to have children again.
I have had my time to do that and have no desire to do that part of my life again, but somehow just the act of having to conscientiously sign that divine right away made me very sad.
It also brought a tremendous amount of gratitude to God for allowing my body to be healthy and work properly at the time needed so that I could be the means of transporting those precious babies to this Earth!

"I never knew how much love my heart could hold until someone called me "mommy."~Author Unknown

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