Weight. WAIT!!

I got on a scale today.
Why?
(That is what I asked too).


Because I went to a doctor appointment.
And you know how they want to get all personal with you.
They want you to take your clothes off
(So they can take your blood pressure),
Check your pulse and your temperature and your oil,
Then they want to know if you drink alcohol or smoke (I don't think they meant salmon) or a new one- do you drink caffeine?
(I said of course not, I just inject chocolate into my veins)
And as if that isn't enough they want to know how much you weigh.

How do I know?
I don't have a scale at home.
Well I do, but what would possess me to pull it out?
And then stand on it?
And then look down at the numbers?!


I figured I have been losing weight anyway.
Just the other day I bought some new pants and they were loose!
(Did I mention I can no longer fit into my 'old' pants and that the 'new' ones were a couple sizes bigger than I used to wear?)

So here is the truth.
(This is why I take trips so often.)
It is the hard truth.
I now weigh more than I ever have in my life!
Even more than when I was pregnant. (Five times pregnant!)

I'll be back.
I need to buy my one-way plane ticket to Denial.

OK. 
It was perfect timing.
To shock me into doing something.
I had just won a membership to a gym from a silent auction we had at work.

So I joined the health club today.
Tonight I went.
I cheered for Butler in the NCAA championship game while I exercised.
It is a big start for me and a big finish for them.
We both cried when it was over.


Goodnight.