September 4, 2010

Parenting 101

"Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children."  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

** PRNTG 101:

18 years credits,
Requires lifetime continuing education.
A grade of Z or better is required for graduation.

This course has prerequisites:

1. Must define sacrifice and humility by example, in daily living.
2. Must be able to clean up snot, throw-up, or poop without barfing.
3. Must be able to turn emotions on and off instantaneously.
4. Must be able to go without a shower for several days and still look as if you have had one.
5. Must be able to make dinner, give spelling words, "watch this trick", stop bickering amongst children-siblings, and remain level-headed and calm all at the same time.
6. Must be able to love unconditionally, even after your heart has been broken.
7. Must be o.k. being accompanied to the bathroom.
8. Must have a "Carol Brady' smile available at any moment.
9. Must be able to function on only three hours of sleep a night.
10. And must be able to experience emotions at a level never experienced before!

If you can do all these things AND with ease, you now qualify to try your heart hand at parenting!

**This course can be fulfilled with a satisfactory score on the AM I STILL SANE? assessment exam. 

"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge."  ~Phyllis Diller


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