I do not think that we are a people who wait in line to buy tickets to the premiere movie "Change".
I am not a big fan myself.
I like to stick to the old habits,
that like burrs,
are stuck in my mind and behaviors.
But something has been happening with me.
It has been subtle yet progressive.
I have been making changes in my life.
Both on how I treat myself,
And how I allow others to treat me.
This movement originated around the time of my divorce.
What started as protecting myself from abuse,
has now become
being aware of simple discomforts I feel,
And voicing my boundaries if I am feeling vulnerable.
The bad news is, is that not everyone is on board with me.
Some people want me to "Keep the change" so to speak.
I have upset these people.
Even though they are dear to me.
When I said, "This is what I can and can not do",
it was not received very well.
This has saddened me as it affected a relationship of many years.
Yet, I do not have regret for honoring my needs.
Just that a friendship was altered because I did.
Oh, I still want to go back to the old Reyna,
Who when confronted with opposition
would convince myself it either was not that important,
or that I was just being too sensitive, etc.
But I try now to be my best advocate.
That, I have found can be a lonely place.
But, as lonely as it is,
it does not compare to the loneliness I used to feel
when I abandoned myself along the roadside,
all in the name of compliance and neglect.
It is possible that over time,
I will be able to shield myself without having to say anything.
But for now, this is where I am at,
and although it secludes me,
I like the company I am with!
"If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies." ~Author Unknown
"If you want to make enemies, try to change something." ~Woodrow Wilson