I was announcing the sneak-peek, classroom arrival of my granddaughter to one of the students in my class.
She stopped sewing her felt gingerbread man, paused, looked at me, and said, "You're a grandma?"
"You can't be a grandma, you don't have lots of wrinkles and gray hair with curls."
Another pause after staring at me a minute, "Well o. k. you are almost a half grandma because I do see some wrinkles."
This is the time to be thankful, this is a time to be thankful, this is a time.......
November 24, 2010
November 22, 2010
Visitors Of The Third Kind
I have visitors.
In my book, the 'third kind' is defined by:
Generations-Myself, my son, and his daughter,
A three year old,
And singlehood, motherhood and grandmahood.
(Grandmahood makes me unrecognizable to my own children?!)
Happy Thanksgiving if I don't get back this way!
In my book, the 'third kind' is defined by:
Generations-Myself, my son, and his daughter,
A three year old,
And singlehood, motherhood and grandmahood.
(Grandmahood makes me unrecognizable to my own children?!)
Happy Thanksgiving if I don't get back this way!
November 17, 2010
Time Out!! You Mean, For Me?
I taught another parenting class tonight.
The topic was hidden.
The Education Board made up the flier and I appreciate it.
(Because remember, the computer and I are still getting acquainted?)
It was titled "How to Make the Holiday Season Wonderful"
(When I read it I wanted to go until I realized that it was my class)
That was followed with a description and under that the topic,
"Highlighting the Importance of Taking Time Out for Yourself."
It just really made me think.
If the title was, "Stopping Sibling Rivalry"
Or "How to Get Your Children to do What You Want",
Or "Getting Your Child's Education Paid For",
It would have been packed!
But taking time for yourself?
Aah, we say things like,
"It sounds like a great idea and class but who has the time and energy?
And it would only serve me anyway,
right?"
WRONG!
Some things I learned through necessity of being a single parent:
*If you don't take care of yourself no one else can.
*Know yourself. Know the season you're in. Know when to say no.
Know what you can and can't do. (Don't lie to yourself.)
*We cannot give what we do not have. You are the emotional source.
If you are depleted where will it come from?
*Are we all output and no input?
*Maybe he/she needs shoes more than you need a haircut,
but he/she needs you and your patience and love more than shoes.
That ability to give comes from us also meeting our needs.
*When we take care of ourselves, we teach our children that we are important,
that we matter. Isn't that what we want them to believe about themselves?
* As they mature, they will most likely follow our examples and either discount themselves,
Or find someone who will discount their own needs for our child's sake.
*An outlet is not a luxury, it is a necessity.
*When we model respecting our own limitations it teaches our children to do the same.
Something that comes in real handy when they are teenagers and young adults.
*Do not take for granted all that you do.
*Learn who you are. It makes us 'real' to our children who then have permission to be who they are.
Ask yourself:
What do you like to do for yourself?
What is fun for you?
What are your needs?
Do you have any hobbies apart from your family?-
Things you like to do for pure pleasure and enjoyment?
And what would you enjoy doing if you didn't have anyone else's needs to consider?
Know that all these things are spoken of in humble moderation-but you all know that- too much sacrifice is your problem.
There is SO much more, but I hope you get the gist of it.
The topic was hidden.
The Education Board made up the flier and I appreciate it.
(Because remember, the computer and I are still getting acquainted?)
It was titled "How to Make the Holiday Season Wonderful"
(When I read it I wanted to go until I realized that it was my class)
That was followed with a description and under that the topic,
"Highlighting the Importance of Taking Time Out for Yourself."
It just really made me think.
If the title was, "Stopping Sibling Rivalry"
Or "How to Get Your Children to do What You Want",
Or "Getting Your Child's Education Paid For",
It would have been packed!
But taking time for yourself?
Aah, we say things like,
"It sounds like a great idea and class but who has the time and energy?
And it would only serve me anyway,
right?"
WRONG!
Some things I learned through necessity of being a single parent:
*If you don't take care of yourself no one else can.
*Know yourself. Know the season you're in. Know when to say no.
Know what you can and can't do. (Don't lie to yourself.)
*We cannot give what we do not have. You are the emotional source.
If you are depleted where will it come from?
*Are we all output and no input?
*Maybe he/she needs shoes more than you need a haircut,
but he/she needs you and your patience and love more than shoes.
That ability to give comes from us also meeting our needs.
*When we take care of ourselves, we teach our children that we are important,
that we matter. Isn't that what we want them to believe about themselves?
* As they mature, they will most likely follow our examples and either discount themselves,
Or find someone who will discount their own needs for our child's sake.
*An outlet is not a luxury, it is a necessity.
*When we model respecting our own limitations it teaches our children to do the same.
Something that comes in real handy when they are teenagers and young adults.
*Do not take for granted all that you do.
*Learn who you are. It makes us 'real' to our children who then have permission to be who they are.
Ask yourself:
What do you like to do for yourself?
What is fun for you?
What are your needs?
Do you have any hobbies apart from your family?-
Things you like to do for pure pleasure and enjoyment?
And what would you enjoy doing if you didn't have anyone else's needs to consider?
Know that all these things are spoken of in humble moderation-but you all know that- too much sacrifice is your problem.
There is SO much more, but I hope you get the gist of it.
Summarizing Chieko N. Okazaki,
Only you know your circumstances, your energy level, the needs of your children, and the emotional demands of your obligations. Be wise during intensive seasons of you life.
Don't compare yourself to others-nearly always this will make you despondent.
Don't accept somebody else's interpretation of how you should be spending your time. Make the best decision you can and evaluate it to see how it works.
November 14, 2010
The Blog Crumb Trail
I am still relatively new to the technology world.
My children would probably say that I just know blogging.
Which is true...to some extent (as that is even limited.)
As for other tech stuff....
I don't know how to play Wii,
I don't know how to use an ATM card,
And my phone still has a cord.
(Well not the one that I put in my purse, but that one is very old.
It's latest and only feature is taking blurry pictures. I think it's memory can hold up to three max.)
So even though I "know" blogging, I don't.
I get lost.
Like Hansel and Gretal my blog crumbs are gone when I try to return.
Has that ever happened to you?!
I have been sitting at the computer for so long without getting up I would have a beard if I were a man,
(I guess my armpit hair is growing instead),
And I have come across some very interesting and amazing sites during that time.
The problem is, I don't know how I got to them.
Therefore, I am unable to return.
Small, shiny, 'bookmark' white stones don't work for me either.
So, I may end up at the cake and candy house.
(Which on many days wouldn't seem like such a bad idea as sugar and I are the best of friends),
Except for the cannibalistic witch who resides there.
It's true, she does end up charred (like my knight)
Which is all fine and dandy, but I am still left wandering in the forest of blogs.
So, more learning for me it is.
My children would probably say that I just know blogging.
Which is true...to some extent (as that is even limited.)
As for other tech stuff....
I don't know how to play Wii,
I don't know how to use an ATM card,
And my phone still has a cord.
(Well not the one that I put in my purse, but that one is very old.
It's latest and only feature is taking blurry pictures. I think it's memory can hold up to three max.)
So even though I "know" blogging, I don't.
I get lost.
Like Hansel and Gretal my blog crumbs are gone when I try to return.
Has that ever happened to you?!
I have been sitting at the computer for so long without getting up I would have a beard if I were a man,
(I guess my armpit hair is growing instead),
And I have come across some very interesting and amazing sites during that time.
The problem is, I don't know how I got to them.
Therefore, I am unable to return.
Small, shiny, 'bookmark' white stones don't work for me either.
So, I may end up at the cake and candy house.
(Which on many days wouldn't seem like such a bad idea as sugar and I are the best of friends),
Except for the cannibalistic witch who resides there.
It's true, she does end up charred (like my knight)
Which is all fine and dandy, but I am still left wandering in the forest of blogs.
So, more learning for me it is.
"It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being." ~John Stuart Mill
November 10, 2010
Graduating From The Couch
I just graduated from Spill-Your-Guts-On-The-Couch.
I have also referred to it as therapy or butt kicking or an emotional wringer.
Sounds sort of abusive when I put it that way doesn't it?
It wasn't.
It was healing.
My listener-of-verbal-projectile finished her internship and is moving on to a permanent job working with children.
Instead of retraining a new set of ears, I decided to not get my Masters in TAM (talking about myself) and to stop formal schooling for now.
(I am going to be home schooled.)
Our last meeting felt like I had crammed for my final exam and I had a 50 minute essay-from-the-mouth session of all that I have learned.
( I know it is her job, but the poor woman.)
It actually felt good. (To me.)
Real good.
To summarize my lessons.
I can see the progress that I have made.
I can feel the progress!
The greatest change has been in what I think and say to myself.
That changes everything.
Oh, I know I am far from done.
Just because I "graduated" doesn't mean I will not continue to learn.
(There will always be another couch!)
I have been blessed by having opportunities to learn from my various trials.
Through those experiences I have a better understanding of many others' hearts.
I started this blog to share the lessons life serves me.
And how I have consumed them.
They are food to my soul.
Per chance one of my recipes will fill your soul.
(How did I go from the couch to the kitchen?)
"The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue." ~Antisthenes
I have also referred to it as therapy or butt kicking or an emotional wringer.
Sounds sort of abusive when I put it that way doesn't it?
It wasn't.
It was healing.
My listener-of-verbal-projectile finished her internship and is moving on to a permanent job working with children.
Instead of retraining a new set of ears, I decided to not get my Masters in TAM (talking about myself) and to stop formal schooling for now.
(I am going to be home schooled.)
Our last meeting felt like I had crammed for my final exam and I had a 50 minute essay-from-the-mouth session of all that I have learned.
( I know it is her job, but the poor woman.)
It actually felt good. (To me.)
Real good.
To summarize my lessons.
I can see the progress that I have made.
I can feel the progress!
The greatest change has been in what I think and say to myself.
That changes everything.
Oh, I know I am far from done.
Just because I "graduated" doesn't mean I will not continue to learn.
(There will always be another couch!)
I have been blessed by having opportunities to learn from my various trials.
Through those experiences I have a better understanding of many others' hearts.
I started this blog to share the lessons life serves me.
And how I have consumed them.
They are food to my soul.
Per chance one of my recipes will fill your soul.
(How did I go from the couch to the kitchen?)
"The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue." ~Antisthenes
November 8, 2010
Not To Worry But......
I planned poorly forgot to post a blog before I went out of town this past week.
I was in California for a national conference for the education of young children.
(Or some lengthy title that makes it sound official.)
I no longer have children at home so I was sure all would be well while I was out of town.
You know what this is leading to don't you?
You are right!
I don't think our plane had landed more than an hour or so.
Then I get this text message from my oldest son:
"Not to worry u but I got hit under the eye with a line drive and am waiting 2 get stitches at the hospital."
It was almost 10:00 p.m.
He had been playing softball with his team from work.
He sent me a picture of his eye, but remember my Ludditeness.
I do not know how to get it from my phone to the computer.
So you will have to envision it (or not.)
He luckily did not break any bones and there was no damage to his eye.
(I am trying to count our blessings.)
But he did get some deep stitches and 7 on top of that.
My children combined have had stitches approximately 30 times, we have had broken bones, microscopic surgery for a severed artery, nerve and 5 tendons in a wrist, had a diving accident with a brain bleed.... and other stuff. (I was starting to regress into traumatic- memory-mode so I stopped.)
My point was that in all those times, this has been the first time ever I was not around when something happened.
Granted my son is a young man.
Sometimes firsts for me just take time to adjust to.
I did thank him for the before and after pictures.
I told him it helped me feel like I was there.
He was kind about it, but pretty much said,
"I'm a big boy now mom."
What he said instead was,
"At least I still got the force out at 3rd."
I felt so much better after that!?
I was in California for a national conference for the education of young children.
(Or some lengthy title that makes it sound official.)
I no longer have children at home so I was sure all would be well while I was out of town.
You know what this is leading to don't you?
You are right!
I don't think our plane had landed more than an hour or so.
Then I get this text message from my oldest son:
"Not to worry u but I got hit under the eye with a line drive and am waiting 2 get stitches at the hospital."
It was almost 10:00 p.m.
He had been playing softball with his team from work.
He sent me a picture of his eye, but remember my Ludditeness.
I do not know how to get it from my phone to the computer.
So you will have to envision it (or not.)
He luckily did not break any bones and there was no damage to his eye.
(I am trying to count our blessings.)
But he did get some deep stitches and 7 on top of that.
My children combined have had stitches approximately 30 times, we have had broken bones, microscopic surgery for a severed artery, nerve and 5 tendons in a wrist, had a diving accident with a brain bleed.... and other stuff. (I was starting to regress into traumatic- memory-mode so I stopped.)
My point was that in all those times, this has been the first time ever I was not around when something happened.
Granted my son is a young man.
Sometimes firsts for me just take time to adjust to.
I did thank him for the before and after pictures.
I told him it helped me feel like I was there.
He was kind about it, but pretty much said,
"I'm a big boy now mom."
What he said instead was,
"At least I still got the force out at 3rd."
I felt so much better after that!?
October 29, 2010
You're Not The Boss Of Me!
Spending much of my time around children, I have heard this
manifesto numerous times.
I would ask or are you?
I was driving to the women's jail to sponsor an Al-Anon meeting and this declaration came to my mind.
It struck me because a few weeks earlier at a meeting almost every one of the women there spoke about their families having addiction and/or drinking histories and how they felt the cyclic doom.
I contemplated whether I had anything "bossing" my life around.
These are some of the things that I thought of:
Solitaire- it determines when I go to sleep (depending when I win or how much of a distraction I need.)
Society- decides if I posses noteworthy beauty (Models and beauty pageants come to mind.)
Chocolate cake (really, anything chocolate)- how much I eat is dictated by how delicious it is (or how stressed or tired I am.)
My children- define what kind of mother I am (or I think they do.)
Laziness- exhausts the idea of exercising ( it is also pro-nap.)
My mind- lets negative voices live rent free. (I am looking for new tenets.)
Bad relationships- claim I am unlovable (and the only imperfect one.)
Numbers- remind me when the bills are due, about my body image (weight and clothes size), how much my financial worth is ( income & credit score), about statistics (am I normal?) (no), and deadlines (thinking-election), and about time (how much or how little I have.)
My upbringing- trying to keep me a victim.
Pets- they get theirdemands needs met every time.
Negative people- they rain on my parade ( even on a sunny day-if I let them!)
I didn't like the idea of having all these bosses.
And they don't even pay me!
I self-inquired whether or not I had someone determining the quality of my life and if so, should I?
Yes I do and yes I should.
God is the boss of me whether I like that idea or not.
Good for me I do like that idea.
When I listen to Him and His wisdom,
He guides me.
When I follow His mission statement and rules,
I am blessed.
When I ask for direction,
He gives it.
When I invest in Him,
He multiplies my return.
When I show love to Him,
He loves me back.
When I don't show Him love,
He loves me anyway.
He never fires me,
or asks me to do harmful things,
or belittles me,
or gives up on me.
He only uplifts,
and encourages me.
Believing I am special.
Because the truth is, I am.
He is not only my boss,
but also my Father,
making me His child.
"Nothing so conclusively proves a man's ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself." ~Thomas J. Watson
manifesto numerous times.
I would ask or are you?
I was driving to the women's jail to sponsor an Al-Anon meeting and this declaration came to my mind.
It struck me because a few weeks earlier at a meeting almost every one of the women there spoke about their families having addiction and/or drinking histories and how they felt the cyclic doom.
I contemplated whether I had anything "bossing" my life around.
These are some of the things that I thought of:
Solitaire- it determines when I go to sleep (depending when I win or how much of a distraction I need.)
Society- decides if I posses noteworthy beauty (Models and beauty pageants come to mind.)
Chocolate cake (really, anything chocolate)- how much I eat is dictated by how delicious it is (or how stressed or tired I am.)
My children- define what kind of mother I am (or I think they do.)
Laziness- exhausts the idea of exercising ( it is also pro-nap.)
My mind- lets negative voices live rent free. (I am looking for new tenets.)
Bad relationships- claim I am unlovable (and the only imperfect one.)
Numbers- remind me when the bills are due, about my body image (weight and clothes size), how much my financial worth is ( income & credit score), about statistics (am I normal?) (no), and deadlines (thinking-election), and about time (how much or how little I have.)
My upbringing- trying to keep me a victim.
Pets- they get their
Negative people- they rain on my parade ( even on a sunny day-if I let them!)
I didn't like the idea of having all these bosses.
And they don't even pay me!
I self-inquired whether or not I had someone determining the quality of my life and if so, should I?
Yes I do and yes I should.
God is the boss of me whether I like that idea or not.
Good for me I do like that idea.
When I listen to Him and His wisdom,
He guides me.
When I follow His mission statement and rules,
I am blessed.
When I ask for direction,
He gives it.
When I invest in Him,
He multiplies my return.
When I show love to Him,
He loves me back.
When I don't show Him love,
He loves me anyway.
He never fires me,
or asks me to do harmful things,
or belittles me,
or gives up on me.
He only uplifts,
and encourages me.
Believing I am special.
Because the truth is, I am.
He is not only my boss,
but also my Father,
making me His child.
"Nothing so conclusively proves a man's ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself." ~Thomas J. Watson
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