July 16, 2010

Insanity: A How-To Guide To Get Guaranteed Results

My latest book.

"I don't suffer from insanity.  I enjoy every minute of it."~Author Unknown

Due to space limitations I can not include all of the possible ways to go insane.
Here are but a few to get you started on your road to Insanity:

*Get married and expect eternal bliss daily, 

*Talk to a foreign telemarketer - named Sam,

*Have a baby and think your world will remain the same,

*Drive behind someone talking on their cell phone,

*Get a cat for a pet and try to make it do what you want,

*Have another baby,

*Believe the time frame your contractor gives you,

*Get divorced and expect it will be amicable,

*Have a conversation with an inebriated person,

*Expect your two-year old to be compliant and reasonable,

*Plan around the repair man coming at the beginning of his four hour window,

*Try to reason with a teenager,

*Have yet another baby,

*Believe that the lose-weight-while-you-sleep products work,

*Get fish, thinking they are easy-to-care-for-pets,

*Try to understand your child's texting codes,

*Give birth to twins,

*Think there should be visible results after exercising one week,

*Try to change someone,

*Teach a sixteen year old how to drive,

*Love someone.

If you have done these things and you are still in your right state of mind,

"No man is sane who does not know how to be insane on proper occasions."~Henry Ward Beecher

Seek help immediately!

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