Don't Process With The Lid Off

Have you ever inadvertently turned on the blender or food processor without the lid on?
Yep, you know what happens-stuff flies everywhere!
And it's a mess to clean up!

Well, I have found that I have that ability to have that same effect on people and situations. 

If I have started the "sorting" process with all the ingredients of what is upsetting me,
and added an assortment of pent up emotional spices , 
mixed with liquid tears, 
and maybe an addition of optional frustration and fear,
and do not put the lid on first,
before I push pulse, 
I. Make. A. Huge. Mess!

At least one that I am ashamed to claim came from my kitchen of personal recipes.

With processing,  just like with baking, if I try to rush things because I am impatient
or I try to "adjust the recipe" to how I am used to, usually doing it to please another,
I am headed for failure in some form or another.

This happened to me a few months ago.
Something had shown up unexpectedly in my life that threw my emotions and logical thinking for a loop (well, more like a tangle).
It needed my full attention and I had more processing to go through than a Lunch-able does. 

The trouble happened  when I involved others before I had a full understanding of what had upset me and what I needed to do to work through the pain.
Because I was not even clear myself what I was going through, I could not very effectively communicate to those around me where I was at or what I felt and needed.
Let's just say "Cinderellaaaa" was playing softly in the background as I scrubbed the floor on my knees cleaning up my mess.
(Now I will never get to the ball...)

"Working through" may have meant writing through it, 
going on a "talk/walk", 
talking it through with a trusted confidant,
or seeing a professional,
or a combination of them all depending on the difficulty of the "recipe",
(BEFORE I tried talking to whom I really needed to.)

When that is done in order, and the temperature (emotionally calm), 
and timing (when people aren't rushed or stressed) 
are correctly in place then we can take off the lid and dole out and serve what we prepared for the betterment of ourselves and those around us.
We can then share what upset us, what we need, and how we will change what needs changing if anything does.

So, although it is extremely important and even vital to process, everyone will feel much better if you do it with the lid on! 
(Then maybe we won't be late for the ball!)


"How much has to be explored and discarded before reaching the naked flesh of feeling."  ~Claude Debussy
 


 

Dear Prince Charming,

Dear Prince Charming,
Where are you?!!!  
I am still waiting......

Not aging so gracefully,
Cinderella 

Look closely.  See it?  It's Cinderella's 21st century "glass slipper"!!   Sure it looks like a stiletto but times and fashion have changed ?!

Her shoe is hooked onto a stop sign in my neighborhood. That is why she wrote this letter. 
Because Prince Charming hasn't even picked her shoe up, let alone even begun to look for her!! 

OK, we have to talk. 
How many of us are waiting or have waited for Prince Charming and nothing?
We went to the ball, danced all night (or almost), heard and believed all these promises about loving us, and always being there and never letting us go, and wanting to spend the rest of our lives together and poof.  
All gone in the chime of a bell (or text or some other form of message).  (Or nothing at all).

In us trying to do the right thing and rushing to get back home (or to some of our other responsibilities in life we have), we lost our footing shoe.
We were just trying to find balance.
And yet now here we are all alone.
We have not heard anything from the Prince with all that charm!  
(Who named that guy anyway?)

Where is he?  
Where are you?!

So how long has it been?
How long have we been waiting?
How long do we intend to wait?

Maybe when the Bible talked about being patient this is not one of the times it was talking about.

People.  Go back and get your "Slipper" yourself or go get a new pair, but do not use the excuse of not having it all, hold you back from going on with your lives!

If he hasn't come through, he probably isn't.
And if his memory was clouded (for whatever reason) and he can't remember what street you were on, he can get out his GPS.
If he really wants to find you, he will.
Quit making excuses for him!

Until he does come back (if that is in his plan), let go of the lost possession.
Unless you are the Old Woman with all those children who serve broth without any bread and actually needs her shoe to go home to, move on.

Do not let someone else hold you up at the stop sign!

In the meantime.
I hope you dance....



"Love cannot be found where it doesn't exist.  There's a difference between being patient with someone and wasting your time." ~Unknown Author



 
And nope,that is not my shoe-although I have been known for waiting....