September 29, 2013

Don't Process With The Lid Off

Have you ever inadvertently turned on the blender or food processor without the lid on?
Yep, you know what happens-stuff flies everywhere!
And it's a mess to clean up!

Well, I have found that I have that ability to have that same effect on people and situations. 

If I have started the "sorting" process with all the ingredients of what is upsetting me,
and added an assortment of pent up emotional spices , 
mixed with liquid tears, 
and maybe an addition of optional frustration and fear,
and do not put the lid on first,
before I push pulse, 
I. Make. A. Huge. Mess!

At least one that I am ashamed to claim came from my kitchen of personal recipes.

With processing,  just like with baking, if I try to rush things because I am impatient
or I try to "adjust the recipe" to how I am used to, usually doing it to please another,
I am headed for failure in some form or another.

This happened to me a few months ago.
Something had shown up unexpectedly in my life that threw my emotions and logical thinking for a loop (well, more like a tangle).
It needed my full attention and I had more processing to go through than a Lunch-able does. 

The trouble happened  when I involved others before I had a full understanding of what had upset me and what I needed to do to work through the pain.
Because I was not even clear myself what I was going through, I could not very effectively communicate to those around me where I was at or what I felt and needed.
Let's just say "Cinderellaaaa" was playing softly in the background as I scrubbed the floor on my knees cleaning up my mess.
(Now I will never get to the ball...)

"Working through" may have meant writing through it, 
going on a "talk/walk", 
talking it through with a trusted confidant,
or seeing a professional,
or a combination of them all depending on the difficulty of the "recipe",
(BEFORE I tried talking to whom I really needed to.)

When that is done in order, and the temperature (emotionally calm), 
and timing (when people aren't rushed or stressed) 
are correctly in place then we can take off the lid and dole out and serve what we prepared for the betterment of ourselves and those around us.
We can then share what upset us, what we need, and how we will change what needs changing if anything does.

So, although it is extremely important and even vital to process, everyone will feel much better if you do it with the lid on! 
(Then maybe we won't be late for the ball!)

"How much has to be explored and discarded before reaching the naked flesh of feeling."  ~Claude Debussy


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