The Loan That Made Me Rich

After being on a flight that was packed full, when I changed planes and had a chance to have a  row of seats all to myself I went to the far back of the plane and set myself up for a relaxing flight.

Following the lead of the friendly, but territorial guy in front of me, I sat in the aisle seat making it clear I did not want to share.

When the flight attendants were making their way down through the plane double checking the bins overhead- a sign that we were set- I slid over to the window seat to prepare for the nap I had been waiting for and desperately needed after sleeping maybe two and a half hours the night before.

I was getting my pillow out of my bag when I looked up, surprised to see a thirty some year old woman sitting at the end of my row.

I shook my head and sarcastically yelled, "REALLY?!" from inside my head.
She took no notice.  Did she not see that there were other completely empty rows she could of and should of chose from?! 

By then the announcement to turn off all electronic devices was made.
She ignored it.  Did she not understand English?
But when the attendant came by and told her to specifically turn it off, she nodded yet still ignored her.
The fact that she sat in my row, was oblivious to my "evil eyes" and frustrated body language, along with the fact that she was putting all of our lives in emanate danger, was just too much.

I would get the attention of the attendant as soon as possible and do the elementary school protocol and "tell on her".
That was until I noticed the outgoing, funny lady across the aisle from us giving the sneaks- look to my criminal row-mate  as she still had her phone on too.  She was the kind of woman who had the, "Honey, you don't wanna mess with me " look so I scrapped that idea.

As soon as we started to taxi on the runway, the convict made a comment to me and then asked a question about some other planes that were visible from my nap-to-be-window.
I commented back and we started a conversation that would last the duration of our flight.

Criminals are over rated sometimes.  This lady was very nice, and obliviously innocent to so many things and had a great interest in my family and me.  
She was also very kind, educated and thoughtful.

Surprisingly she too had struggles in her life and had some of the same parenting concerns I had.
She shared that she was from another country and her story of coming to America.

A few minutes into our budding friendship I had become conscientiously  aware of my heart slowly softening towards her and my demeanor changing.  She was no longer this irritant and person worthy of hating but a vulnerable woman just like me.

The moment I felt the most guilt for my unkind feelings and thoughts (that she was totally clueless about and that I was now thankful for her oblivion) was when she excitedly said, "You are rich!"

"In my country of Vietnam if you have four boys you are considered rich." 
"It's true" she said, "The families with four boys or five girls are always rich!"
Her enthusiasm was contagious and convincing.  I believed her!
I was so grateful I had openly invited her into my life-otherwise how would I have ever known the blessing from another country that was mine to receive?!

Our plane landed.
She left to meet up with her coworkers and I remained as I was still not at my destination.
She realized we had not even exchanged names and she returned to ask me who I was.
Then she said, "I am Loan L-O-A-N like money."

So there you have the story of the Loan that made me rich!!!  

"One can pay back the loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind."  ~Malayan Proverb

"The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own."  ~Benjamin Disraeli   


 

Now I Really AM Sure

Do you ever think you are going to do something (at least in your mind) and then when the chance arises it does not play out how you had envisioned?

Well that happened to me a couple weeks ago.

Remember when I said, "Don't Be So Sure"? 
I quote myself as saying then, " I wish I could say a sincere thank you to this man for doing what he did and all that it taught."

Well, I guess for me anyway, writing something and actually following through with my written intentions are not the same thing.  

This man came into my place of work again and I did not do what I had vowed I would, given the chance.
I don't know why.
For one thing it wasn't my table.
Another excuse was because the timing wasn't "right".
But mostly it was probably because I really wasn't sure what I was going to say & how I was going to start it.
"Um, by the way, I was glad you didn't hate me or at least show me you did.  Thanks."

After he left I had sentiment of unresolved remorse, feeling like a hypocrite telling you all that I would do this, but not following through when I had the chance.

I re-vowed that day that I would not again let the opportunity pass if it arose once more.
Well, today was the day.
It started out the same.
Not my table.
Not sure what to say.
But what was different today is I told the girl I was working with (a different one from the original encounter) that I needed to say something to one of her customers.

Enter Mr. Excuse and his buddies, imposing thoughts of embarrassment to all 3 of us (the man was with a friend again) and ideas that it might ruin his appetite and moment of conversation, so I retracted.
But my young co-worker (oh naivete) did not forget and inquired whether I had had a chance to talk to him yet.

So Procrastination being one of my non-birth-certificate-names waited until he was leaving.
Like, literally out-the-door-leaving when I chased him down.

I asked if he knew who I was.
Yes he did.
I said that I wanted to thank him for being kind and professional (or some awkward, not even making sense statement) and guess what?
He said he didn't think we should hold on to (negative) things like that.
I said I blogged about it (great line right, telling some estranged person you wrote about the thought that they might be a jerk?!) and I said I had really appreciated what he did.
And you know what?
He thanked me!
Yep, He. Thanked. Me.
Now I am sure he is a man traveling a higher road than I.

I want to say that I know all imagined and even hoped for second chances may not end up as positive as this one did for me. 
Nevertheless, I would encourage you to confront your situation if you feel a need.
Because even if he would have reacted in an opposing way, my heart would be at peace (after mourning) knowing I gave it an honest attempt.

"Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone."  ~G.B. Stern

I Killed The Invisible Man

Is it really possible to kill something that isn't real
or that you can't even see?

 If you ask a Kindergarten boy he would answer with a resounding, "Yes!"
(as he runs around the playground getting rid of his demons).

Have you ever thought about that?
Not asking a Kindergarten boy,  but of getting rid of the things in our lives that we can't even see?

Imaginary is sort of like invisible isn't it?
Things that sound like: 
"Something must be wrong with me because it seems like they are looking at me,
Or talking about me",
"I am a bad......"
(*you fill in the blank)
*note-only one negative comment per person,

Or "I am a failure",
"No one loves me because I am unlovable",
"No one will miss me if I'm gone",
Etc.

Who is the invisible man?!
What does he even look like?

Many of us have this nemesis in our lives.
He is not usually some handsome dark male dressed in colorful tights with a cape (darn it!).
He often looks like people we know or he even closely resembles us. 
(He looks like those negative messages above.)
His job is to bring us down, to make us believe things are not good, are lost; that we are lost.

This of course is not true. 

His invisibility makes it harder for us to address.
It was like Big Bird trying to convince people that there really was a Snuffleupagus when they never really saw him.
It is hard for others to understand where all these thoughts, thus causing our often irrational behavior, come from for they are only in our heads.

Yet they are so powerful they are destroying us.
Some of them are keeping us in shame, living in fear that someone may uncover "the truth".
Only, our truth is a  fallacy.

Yep, that little boy is right.
The Invisible Man has got to go!
Take out your therapy swords, your (real) truth serum, your best supportive friend Snuffy and slay that I.M.!!!

Box Office hits are made about conquering villains.
Now is your chance to become the award winning Lead Actor/Hero in your own Life!!!!


"Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable."  ~Theodore N. Vail





P.S.  Something awesomely funny happened when I was trying to change the color of the quote text.  I accidentally pushed a wrong button and the words disappeared.  I was all sad thinking I would have to search through all those quotes again to find it and found out the words were still there but they had become invisible!  (Well, white on white background.)

I loved the irony and wanted to leave it, but it wouldn't help much to have an inspiring quote if you couldn't even read it now would it? (I know I need to get a life.)

The Glitches In Life

Do you ever get those?

Glitches?
You know, the things defined as a defect or malfunction in a plan?
Like, in your life plan?

Well, they show up faithfully in my life.
I am not an OCD or even real disciplined planner but I do try to have some direction that I am heading towards in life.

And then The Glitch Who Stole Structure shows up.
In Whomeverville. (Where I live.)
With things like dental challenges (smiles and chops for eating are pretty important),
Car trouble (someone telling you smoke is coming out of your parked car from under your hood is not the kind of BBQ you want),
Illness or health issues (should be left to commercials only),
Relationship struggles (forget about the happy endings that movies portray),
Financial trials (who needs the fountain of youth, I'm still looking for the money tree plantation),
And major home repairs (projects that HGTV House Crashers wouldn't even touch!).


Unlike the movie, all the joyous singing I can muster doesn't make my wallet grow three times larger or alter the "presents"  (see above) sent my way.
It doesn't soften the Glitches heart either.

But guess what?
I change. 

As I qiut singing "You're a Mean One Mr. Glitch" and I sing songs of gratitude and count the presents wrapped in Blessings paper (although few and pretty worn looking) my heart starts to soften.

In some weird Cindy Lou way, I start to see the Glitch as someone with something(s) to offer, to help learn and grow from.   And instead of asking "Why are you taking my happiness tree?  WHY?"  I start to trust and believe that maybe there is a Christmas hidden within the trials after all.

And even though many of my life "presents" have been literally dumped in the abyss by the Glitch, I realize that maybe Christmas life doesn't mean not being poor...., maybe life... perhaps....means a little bit more.

Maybe it is realizing all that I do have (Glitches and all)-even if  just Roast Beast.

 "Christmas is a time to open our hearts to God and his gifts.  Just like the rest of the year."  ~Author Unknown
  
DISCLAIMER: I know this may seem untimely mentioning Christmas in the summer, but glitches come all the time and I should remember the blessing and ultimate gift that Christmas brings all year long.

What Is YOUR Speed Limit?

Do you know what your speed limit is?
  
Not the one on the main street closest to your house or on your most frequented routes, but the one that your life is comfortable running on.

Have you ever felt like you were "driving" faster than you could keep up with? 
That your life resembled the autobahn with no limit except your interpretation?
That you might almost lose control on those unexpected curves in life?

Or maybe that you aren't moving at all? 
Stuck in life's "traffic jams" at a standstill-feeling like the progress is so slow it feels as if there in none being made-although the speed limit is greater than zero?!

Let's think about some real speed limits in life.

When there are very little obstructions and distractions and life is "good" per se, we can zoom on down life's road at highway speed, often even using cruise control.
This can be a time to "visit" or relax (sometimes almost falling asleep) and just enjoy the ride.
We don't have to worry about much stop and go.  We aren't even the one pushing the gas pedal.  

Other times there are many busy things going on around us so we are more cautious and use downtown business speed.
For safety of the steady to and fro it requires that we pay added attention and react accordingly, watching diligently for the unexpected. 
This is not a place to be complacent.
This may be the speed we most frequently drive at with stress adrenaline running high.

Residential speed is set for the safety of pedestrians, pets and local traffic.
It is to protect our loved ones.
Especially those who may not be able to protect themselves.
It can get easy in our hustle and bustle in life to forget about these special beings and use the inappropriately dangerous highway speed limit to "rush through life" past our loved ones.

Other times when we are at a learning stage in our lives, we need to remember the 15 MPH
school zone limit.
Yes, it is one of the slower speeds but it too has been established to protect the innocent.
The reduced speed helps us respect the crossing therapist guard whose job it is to safely help his students get to the other side of our (life's) road.

Then there are the exceptions of speed limits.
The temporary.
As is the case in construction zones.
There is a lot of work going on, unusual situations, detours, and human beings working very close in harms way.
There is a double fine (or extremely high one) if caught speeding in a construction zone.
For very good reason.
It is a precarious situation.
Why then when our lives are "under construction" because of an adversity in life do we not offer ourselves those same respectful exceptions and added safety measures?

Perhaps one we use the most is the traffic control one.
The one where we are obstinately obedient and follow the "safe limit" because we are being "watched".
Where our choices are based on whether or not we think we could "get in trouble" .
When integrity is gone and our chances of "being caught" are what determines our behavior.

Since our lives are constantly, unpredictably changing, our most healthy consistent alternative is the variable speed limit.
The one that monitors conditions and changes accordingly as needed. 

Some people grew up in a variable speed home county and follow directions faithfully, knowing that some slowing while driving through life is just temporary and they accept and enjoy whatever the life pace that has been set for them.
Others like me.....
Well, at some point, life's "construction" should have a finishing deadline in place and I, the privilege of enjoying the journey and not just blankly driving to my "destination". 

"No person shall drive a vehicle upon a highway at a speed greater than is reasonable... and in no event at a speed which endangers the safety of persons or property".^[19]

^{"Yes, Officer, I did see the speed limit sign. I just didn't see you." ~Author Unknown}

I Love You More Than...

I was talking to my 5 year old granddaughter on (or through?) Skype and her parting goodbye started with;
I love you more than squirrels love nuts.
Me: I love you more than dolphins love water.
Her: I love you more than the Pillsbury Doughboy loves a baking convention.

Who can top that?!!

If Eyes Could Talk

If eyes could talk what would they say?

Well, I believe that eyes do talk.
But they talk in sign language.
Emotional sign language.

(Isn't there a quote that says the eyes are the windows to our souls?)

If we are not "watching" and looking into the eyes of someone who is "speaking" in more than words, we may miss it.
Vocal words are not even necessary to "hear" when someone is internally happy or sad or heaven forbid, seductive.  (For some reason the latter is one of the most easily read messages?!)
Just look at their eyes. 

It can be fun and easy and emotionally much more comfortable to send a message just as I am doing here or via text or some other technological mode, but there is no substitute for human interaction.
For reading and seeing into the spirit, the soul of someone whose emotions may only be able to be expressed in their eyes.

We have all probably seen (or even been the one delivering ourselves) someone whose words did not match their eyes, their true feelings.
Someone who is saying they are happy or fine but whose reflection you see as masking some pain.

So just for today (sounds like my AL-anon pamphlet) look into just one person's eyes as you interact with them and maybe for the first time "see" them in a different way.
That someone may even be you, hiding behind a verbal facade. 

Then take the time to ask what is really being said.
(That's the hard part isn't it?  Which is why we will often "look the other way".)

Often, all that is needed from us is just a listening, understanding ear.
Then come back and share what happened.  (My eyes are sparkling with anticipating adventure and challenge right now!)


"Tearless grief bleeds inwardly".  ~Christian Nevell Bovee