Part II She Wrapped Her Arms Around Who She Was And Embraced It

In my last post I focused on my physical self (because I had a picture) and learning to embrace her, it ,me.

As I get older my looks are a little harder to take but not nearly as hard as embracing  the emotional/spiritual self was.

SHE was a lot more painful to look at.

 

Imagine the most physically unhealthy person you can envision and that is pretty much what my emotional self "looked" like.

Only in a heart/soul/spirit kind-of-way.

Part of "who she was" had become dictated over her lifetime by:

home environment,

family structure (or lack of),

personality,

emotional trauma,

abuse,

and how many "tools-of-life" I was given.

That in essence meant that by the time I had become an independent adult at the age of 18 years that I had a "baggage" collection substantial enough to provide for all my neighbors to travel the world.

Translation: Lots of issues!!

These included:

control issues,

trust issues,

unhealthy boundaries,

low self esteem,

fear of abandonment ,

and that's not all....!

These had all become part of making up who I was.

And as much as I wanted to not start out dragging a bunch of tattered baggage around in my life and I yearned for a clean slate, it was already a part of me.

It was who I was.

Over the years (many, many years), I have been able to work through several of these adversities, sometimes not erasing them completely,

but learning how to better handle my reactions when certain situations come up.

I can honestly say that I can wrap my arms around exactly who I am and embrace me.

(That doesn't mean that it's always pretty, just accepting)

Because of many of my experiences, I have greater insight and empathy.

I can then use these traits to encourage and uplift those who may be going through similar trials.

For this I am grateful.

One of the many lessons I have learned is that I am all I got,

And embracing me provides a safe, healthy place for me to learn about love and acceptance.

Baggage gets a bad wrap doesn't it?

But some of our most valuable possessions when we travel, are those we want to "carry-on" with us.

"Oh, if only each of us could embrace who we are."~Reyna

"What he had yearned to embrace was not the flesh but a downy spirit, a spark, the impalpable angel that inhabits the flesh."  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939, translated from French by Lewis Galantière