You Ruined My Happy Life!

Although I was being reprehended from the back seat there was no problem hearing with clarity, "You ruined my happy life!"

I had taken my youngster away from her friends house with the a forehand understanding that we would only be able to visit for a short amount of time.
Somewhere between the school where the promise was made and the coveted place of departure, memory loss had set in.

Although she was able to stay and visit twice the amount of previously agreed upon time, her life was now ruined and I was the culprit.

What had started out to be an act of fun spontaneity had now turned into a future topic for her one-day-I-will-need-to-be-in-therapy session.

As I fought off any feelings of guilt (which by the way is a zillion times easier to do when it isn't your child), I reflected how even as adults, we can allow a single disapproving experience to "ruin our happy lives".

Have you ever done that?
Let the rain ruin the picnic and forget that you are in company with people you love?
Focus on the one disappointing report card grade and miss the child's love of learning?
Show disapproval to a spouse for not getting "it" (whatever that "it" is) right and forget that numerous people yearn just to have a companion? 

Well, I could have been a multiple-unhappy-life-reincarnated you-name-it I have done this so much.

When I viewed the melodramatic display from the rear view mirror, I could see the comical nature of it all.  
Why then is it so hard to see when it is me blowing things so far out of proportion that it appears I used explosives?
Why am I the exception to ridiculousness? 

Small people often teach large lessons.

So next time you might be thinking your happy life is ruined, stop and count your blessings instead.

"Better to lose count while naming your blessings than to lose your blessings to counting your troubles." ~Maltbie D. Babcock  

If We Could Convert Guilt.....

"If we could convert guilt into fuel, we would never have to visit the gas station again."~Reyna

I can not speak for men, 
But some women, including mothers,
feed ourselves guilt daily.


No, we FEED off of guilt every day.
It is the foundation of our food pyramid.

Guilt has it's place.
I think it's in the back of the refrigerator with that other stuff that needs throwing out.

I know, we can use guilt to our advantage.
If it spurs us to change something for better.

O.K., if it is sinful then it is good prodding,
But many of us make up 'sins'-
Things that could not keep us out of heaven if we wanted them to.
Things that would make God laugh...
Or maybe cry, if He saw what it was doing to us.

We then use those imagined 'sins' to punish ourselves.


Do we know that if something is making us:

Resent those we love,
Feel we are a hopeless, worthless cause,
Show negative physical symptoms,
Despise ourselves,
Want to throw in the towel,
And eat the whole three pound bag of semisweet chocolate chips,
THEN IT IS NOT GOOD FOR US?!


Sure, there are things in our lives that need adjusting.
ADJUSTING people
Not pummeling!


So adapt.
Learn,
Change (or try your darndest) when needed,
and keep going forward.
PROGRESSION not regression remember?!


If guilt is keeping you stuck,
Or worse yet,
Destroying your peace,
IT IS NO LONGER SERVING IT'S PURPOSE.
(Or is it?)

It is time to ask ourselves why are we doing it?
What is the payoff?
And what is the price we will pay if we do not stop?


Mostly ask, "Why do we expect perfection from an imperfect being?
And then beat ourselves up when we don't and can't come through?"
How humane is that?!


That came off a lot little harsh didn't it?
I guess it is because I have been there, done that,
(and still visit sometimes),
And I know the destruction it can leave in its wake.

All we will have to show in the end is more guilt.
It isn't worth it.

Find a new diet.
Or pyramid.

Lighten up.

This is not a ticket to reckless irresponsibility.
But how many of us have marinated in guilt to the point of inertia and misery?
Unnecessarily?

Be gentle with us.
We are all we get,
We are all we got.


Count your blessings (meaning ALL the good you have done).
Name them one by one...
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done (through you!)

 "It is simply not for us to judge each other [or ourselves]. The Lord has reserved that right for Himself, because only He knows our hearts and understands the varying circumstances and complexities of our lives."
— Sheri L. Dew