Although I was being reprehended from the back seat there was no problem hearing with clarity, "You ruined my happy life!"
I had taken my youngster away from her friends house with the a forehand understanding that we would only be able to visit for a short amount of time.
Somewhere between the school where the promise was made and the coveted place of departure, memory loss had set in.
Although she was able to stay and visit twice the amount of previously agreed upon time, her life was now ruined and I was the culprit.
What had started out to be an act of fun spontaneity had now turned into a future topic for her one-day-I-will-need-to-be-in-therapy session.
As I fought off any feelings of guilt (which by the way is a zillion times easier to do when it isn't your child), I reflected how even as adults, we can allow a single disapproving experience to "ruin our happy lives".
Have you ever done that?
Let the rain ruin the picnic and forget that you are in company with people you love?
Focus on the one disappointing report card grade and miss the child's love of learning?
Show disapproval to a spouse for not getting "it" (whatever that "it" is) right and forget that numerous people yearn just to have a companion?
Well, I could have been a multiple-unhappy-life-reincarnated you-name-it I have done this so much.
When I viewed the melodramatic display from the rear view mirror, I could see the comical nature of it all.
Why then is it so hard to see when it is me blowing things so far out of proportion that it appears I used explosives?
Why am I the exception to ridiculousness?
Small people often teach large lessons.
So next time you might be thinking your happy life is ruined, stop and count your blessings instead.
"Better to lose count while naming your blessings than to lose your blessings to counting your troubles." ~Maltbie D. Babcock
Showing posts with label overreacting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label overreacting. Show all posts
September 11, 2013
August 20, 2013
Beauty And The Beast
We were working on her homework when she just got up from the bed and walked away.
I waited a minute and looked up to see where she went and saw that she had taken one of the three red roses she had in a vase by her bed and started cutting the stem pretty short. (Where do these spontaneously sporadic actions come from?!") We were working on a math worksheet!
(These were the ones in another part of the house.)
I, in my best, jump-to-conclusions-and overreact-any-chance-you-get-mothering-Beast-self (that I am ashamed to say dominated my parenting) said, "I don't know if you want to cut that off because if it's too short it can't get any water and will die." (That was a useless thing to say because it was already cut by then.) (The disturbing part is I was at a nanny job and still was acting in my old role without hesitation or thought!)
She, in her stellar, I-am-just-going-to-ignore-what-you-just-said-Beauty-self said, "Here, Ms. Reyna, this is for you!", as she handed me a tiny vase filled with water, one red rose, some Baby's breath and a leaf (I know it has some official name... and probably isn't a leaf at all but stay focused). (What child has a perfect size 3 1/2 inch glass vase right there in their bedroom?)
BEAST: I am worried that she's going to "ruin" the flowers and they will be wasted and unable to be enjoyed. And they are expensive, beautiful red roses! Who gets those very often? so we need to "preserve" them. Cutting them up is not a very good idea!
BEAUTY: These are beautiful and should be shared with people whom I care about! Here, I will just stop in the middle of doing the trivial, mundane stuff (such as homework), not worry about if its logical or a perfect presentation or that I will have less, and just go act on this good feeling I have right now. See, wasn't that easy? And look how happy it made her!!
This Beast can sure learn a lot from Beauty here.
Maybe if I didn't worry so much about "stuff" and looked beyond material things, I would act more often on the pure motivation; of sharing kindness and love, thus not getting so caught up, that I miss the moment completely.
How beautiful a day can be
When kindness touches it!
~George Elliston
Flowers whisper "Beauty!" to the world, even as they fade, wilt, fall. ~Dr. SunWolf, professorsunwolf.com
I waited a minute and looked up to see where she went and saw that she had taken one of the three red roses she had in a vase by her bed and started cutting the stem pretty short. (Where do these spontaneously sporadic actions come from?!") We were working on a math worksheet!
(These were the ones in another part of the house.)
I, in my best, jump-to-conclusions-and overreact-any-chance-you-get-mothering-Beast-self (that I am ashamed to say dominated my parenting) said, "I don't know if you want to cut that off because if it's too short it can't get any water and will die." (That was a useless thing to say because it was already cut by then.) (The disturbing part is I was at a nanny job and still was acting in my old role without hesitation or thought!)
She, in her stellar, I-am-just-going-to-ignore-what-you-just-said-Beauty-self said, "Here, Ms. Reyna, this is for you!", as she handed me a tiny vase filled with water, one red rose, some Baby's breath and a leaf (I know it has some official name... and probably isn't a leaf at all but stay focused). (What child has a perfect size 3 1/2 inch glass vase right there in their bedroom?)
BEAST: I am worried that she's going to "ruin" the flowers and they will be wasted and unable to be enjoyed. And they are expensive, beautiful red roses! Who gets those very often? so we need to "preserve" them. Cutting them up is not a very good idea!
BEAUTY: These are beautiful and should be shared with people whom I care about! Here, I will just stop in the middle of doing the trivial, mundane stuff (such as homework), not worry about if its logical or a perfect presentation or that I will have less, and just go act on this good feeling I have right now. See, wasn't that easy? And look how happy it made her!!
This Beast can sure learn a lot from Beauty here.
Maybe if I didn't worry so much about "stuff" and looked beyond material things, I would act more often on the pure motivation; of sharing kindness and love, thus not getting so caught up, that I miss the moment completely.
How beautiful a day can be
When kindness touches it!
~George Elliston
Flowers whisper "Beauty!" to the world, even as they fade, wilt, fall. ~Dr. SunWolf, professorsunwolf.com
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