Remember the Mirror/s?
The past couple of days I did not like the reflection I was seeing.
In my mirror!
Because it was none other than me!
I could not blame it on my carnival/gypsy past
(because I never had one),
Nor could I accuse someone else, as I was the one yelling,
"Who is the fairest one of all?!"
(Or at least whose opinions are?)
Thank goodness my son who was on the other end of the line,
cleared the blur by wiping my mirror off with Windex or some other humbling cleaning product (he had to hang up the phone to do it.)
When he called me back and spoke just of the 'good parts' of what I had said,
I commended him for being such an amazing son, husband, father, and man.
He said it was because I was the fairest one of all.
Well, what he really said was that it was because he was my son (that it was because I was his mom.)
I would like to take all the credit for him taking the higher road,
but my method of forgiving is a lot more bumpy and has a slow ascent, incline(ation).
I am no where near as mature or as loving and quick to pardon and forget as he was.
Thank you for looking past all my the cracks and imperfections!
"Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury."~E.H. Chapin
There are more mirrors in my life than I have paid much attention to.
Then unavoidably, one day, I turn a corner and there one is,
With me gazing into it and another image reflecting back.
Have you ever come across one of those?
Oh, for me, it might be the image of a friend, a sibling, a neighbor, my mother, a coworker, one of my children, a parent of someone else's child, my ex guys, someone at church, or someone else's child.
Someone other than me-or who I thought I was or hoped I was.
Who knew my life was a mirrored fun house?
Or is it a reflective nightmarish maze I get stuck in?
It can and has been both.
When my son was visiting I saw my self-reflection of the both sides of parenting that I did.
I saw misunderstanding, impatience and ignorance,
And I saw that I don't know how I did all the positive that I did with such a tumultuous life.
My son is such a conscientious and loving father.
So in that respect, I have been a much harsher judge of myself than is justified.
The image wasn't that bad after all.
I sometimes see the wavy mirror,
Where I have vacillated between decisions with little consistency.
Which of course has caused chaos in my life.
Or I might see the mirror that distorts what reality is.
Making me look bigger or smaller than I am.
Sometimes that image has been humorous and sometimes it is deceptive.
Sometimes I can just alter my position without altering myself and the image appears to change.
(There are a lot of those mirrors in Denial.)
The distorted-reality-mirrors also have the negative images of me that others have conjured up.
In another, I see unrecognizable beauty when I am caught off guard, not recognizing the loving countenance.
I also see age, creeping slowly fast approaching, initiating me into a maturing woman and a grandma.
I see in some cases, that yes, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all."
And that it is not always a bad thing.
Like teaching myself to use the computer.
My mother has modeled that you are not too old to learn a new skill.
She learned e-bay in her 70's!
(Sorry to reveal your age mom-it might get you a discount or a free scooter-chair trial?)
The good thing is that like a carnival experience,
the mirrors don't have to be permanent.
(Well, maybe aging is a continuum...)
Did I mention how I love and can laugh a long time by myself at some mirrors?
I can also feel my way out of the mirrored rooms in my life if needed.
And for those individual ones by the wayside,
I can just walk away from them.
I addition, these reflections, although sometimes uncomfortable,
have been beneficial.
They have helped me resolve to change the images I do not like viewing,
and commend myself for the images that were only a distortion of mind,
not reality.
So....
Mirror, Mirror on the wall,
I like who I am becoming after all!
"Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?" ~Calvin and Hobbes
