Part II She Wrapped Her Arms Around Who She Was And Embraced It

In my last post I focused on my physical self (because I had a picture) and learning to embrace her, it ,me.

As I get older my looks are a little harder to take but not nearly as hard as embracing  the emotional/spiritual self was.

SHE was a lot more painful to look at.

 

Imagine the most physically unhealthy person you can envision and that is pretty much what my emotional self "looked" like.

Only in a heart/soul/spirit kind-of-way.

Part of "who she was" had become dictated over her lifetime by:

home environment,

family structure (or lack of),

personality,

emotional trauma,

abuse,

and how many "tools-of-life" I was given.

That in essence meant that by the time I had become an independent adult at the age of 18 years that I had a "baggage" collection substantial enough to provide for all my neighbors to travel the world.

Translation: Lots of issues!!

These included:

control issues,

trust issues,

unhealthy boundaries,

low self esteem,

fear of abandonment ,

and that's not all....!

These had all become part of making up who I was.

And as much as I wanted to not start out dragging a bunch of tattered baggage around in my life and I yearned for a clean slate, it was already a part of me.

It was who I was.

Over the years (many, many years), I have been able to work through several of these adversities, sometimes not erasing them completely,

but learning how to better handle my reactions when certain situations come up.

I can honestly say that I can wrap my arms around exactly who I am and embrace me.

(That doesn't mean that it's always pretty, just accepting)

Because of many of my experiences, I have greater insight and empathy.

I can then use these traits to encourage and uplift those who may be going through similar trials.

For this I am grateful.

One of the many lessons I have learned is that I am all I got,

And embracing me provides a safe, healthy place for me to learn about love and acceptance.

Baggage gets a bad wrap doesn't it?

But some of our most valuable possessions when we travel, are those we want to "carry-on" with us.

"Oh, if only each of us could embrace who we are."~Reyna

"What he had yearned to embrace was not the flesh but a downy spirit, a spark, the impalpable angel that inhabits the flesh."  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939, translated from French by Lewis Galantière

 

She Wrapped Her Arms Around Who She Was And Embraced It

What a difference much of my life would be if I did just that.

If I accepted who I was and embraced it.

My bad hair days,
My dark circles under my eyes,
My aging body parts,
(For clarification that is a belt around my waist) 
My outdated fashion style,
And my imperfect hands and feet.
My interpretation.....

What my little five-year old friend Jessica saw and embraced was:
My smile in spite of all the above ailments,
(She didn't even notice them!)
She loved my hair!
My long , slender legs,
My beautiful flowered (see-through) dress,
(with a belt!)
My fake pearl necklace and earrings,
And my confidence to put out my arms and joyously model who I am in my high heels.

What really struck me was how happy she was while she was "drawing" me.
She smiled the whole time.  (And not because it was a cartoon)
And even more-so how pleased she was with her work.
She had done her best job interpreting what she saw and she was very proud of it.
She even autographed it, being content with her work of art and eager to post her age.
(I just noticed she didn't draw wrinkles or scars or age spots.  I bet she didn't even see them.)

Jessica had had no problem accepting me for who I was and embracing it in a picture.
She had come to sit by me because her mom said ,"She really likes you."
There was no mention of my looks.


Maybe I can learn a lesson or two from her.
Thanks Jess!



"She wrapped her arms around who she was and embraced it."~Reyna