We were talking about Halloween and she asked me "what I was going to be".
My initial reactionary response that came to mind was, "I'm already a witch!".
I refrained from saying it knowing my harsh, sarcastic humor could be offensive or even confusing to an innocent child. She said she was going to be a little-big, yellow mermaid and suggested that I be a very big-big mermaid. (My son explained that the yellow came from her thinking you had to dress as a fruit and she had chosen a lemon.)
I could not bring myself to tell her that I do not really 'do' Halloween.
At least not for myself. (I do enjoy seeing others' costumes though.)
How could I crush her enthusiasm?
How could I tell her I am a boring grandma when it comes to 'dressing up'?
How could I explain that it takes a certain body and fitting attire to be a mermaid?
That Halloween is a holiday to scare people, but not with
I could not tell her.
Because she would not understand.
She would ask, "Why not?"
And somehow all my excuses would sound just like that.
Like EXCUSES.
I am reminded again of the post "When do we lose it?"
What bothers me is not the fact that I really am not comfortable being a part fish/part female, exposed to the elements and society, but that I am closed to the idea of spontaneity, of fun, and of the enthusiasm she has.
The revealing truth is that a fruity, sour, lemon is more my style.
And you know what, I have a feeling that even if I did dress up as some overgrown lemon on steroids that she would still think I was awesome.
It isn't about the costume as much as it is about what I do when life gives me lemons is it?!
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO BE?
