What Am I An Expert In?

"Your soul is all that you possess.  Take it in hand and make something of it!"~ Martin H. Fischer

 I was asked to define myself in a specific area.
To target what I am an expert in.
Be it divorce, parenting, single-parenting, teaching children, addiction, budgeting, refinishing furniture, computer illiteracy etc.

The problem is, is that I am not an expert on any of these things although I have had more experience in some areas than in others.
Mostly I am expert at what NOT to do.   (In all of the above areas!)

After some thought I have decided I am an expert after all.

*I am an expert at finding lessons in what life keeps presenting me.
*At growing (weight blog?!) and learning how to improve myself as a person.
*At getting up and trying again (even when I didn't feel there was any hope.)
*At trying to find something positive when the situation looks pessimistic.
*AND at having love in my heart despite all the unlovable things that have happened to me. 


BUT MOSTLY I AM AN EXPERT AT BEING ME !!!

"The finest thing in the world is knowing how to belong to oneself."~ Michel de Montaigne

Therapy Is Not For Sissies, Ostriches, Or People Who....

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."~Jerry Seinfeld

 Therapy, counseling, soul searching, spilling your guts or whatever you want to call it, is hard work!!

It is not for sissies.
It is not for ostriches,
Or for people who have pet elephants in the middle of their living rooms (or any room for that matter.)


When I come out of a session I sometimes feel like I just had an hour of an intense workout.
Emotionally.
It is like my trainer is a cross between Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura- with Judge Judy presiding to make sure it goes forth.
That is somehow tremendously, physically draining to me too.                                                                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                      
I think part of it can be attributed to dehydration.
All that crying can do that to you.                                                   
When I am done I just want a nap.
And to drink a gallon of water.


So if it is so painful then why do it?
(That's what I ask myself when I see runners.)
I do it because the pain of not looking is greater than the pain of changing my life.
(I have tried that route of blindness before.)


Honestly, I am a big wimp.
(Maybe I was wrong about the sissy part.)


I do not like pain at all.
So I search for answers, not because I am strong but because I am not.
It fools people every time.


If you  haven't gone to seek help in this way I have something to tell you.
You don't really get to lie down on a couch like the movies show.
At least I don't.
It may be because I nap there instead of waiting until after I get home.
(Did I ever tell you how much I like to vacation mentally?)

Anyway as difficult as it is, as uncomfortable as it is, it is making a better me.
And for that it is worth it.
For just like someone who physically works out is a healthier person,
working on one's self emotionally produces healthier results too.
(At least that is what I tell myself.)

(And I am convinced it is true!)

"A part can never be well unless the whole is well."~Plato

"When you're feeling your worst, that's when you get to know yourself the best."~Leslie Grossman 

Remember this can?  (JAN. 31st post 'Who Is Reyna?') 
I apparently have saved enough!  
(Notice the word some.)